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Many people are so discouraged with the selection process, they have taken to buying watermelon by the slice.  And so they live in a kind of abject defeat, nibbling away on their meagre slices as though ‘taste’ were all that matters — when a universe of exquisite planetary delights lies unexplored in big boxes at the grocers, sometimes marked down to $5.99!  This is entirely wrong. The sense of taste should not rule the day.  We have five senses and there is no reason to restrict our selection to taste alone. 

Mind you, our sense of sight is not much help —  as though looking for the perfect shape were the key, round or oval.  Some even look for a pale yellow underside, like they were examining a pickerel.  Does the emerald green of a perfect watermelon fade off toward the extremities? Does it yield a lighter colour around the stem?  As wise Solomon once said, himself a horticulturalist, “it is not good to ask such questions.”   

Yet it is around the stem that some people search for the right ‘feel.’  Is the melon slightly soft to the ‘touch’ in the extremities? That supposedly indicates the perfectly ripe melon.  This too we know, by painful discovery, to be far from trustworthy.  How many overripe watermelons have we selected this way?  Yes, they were soft to the touch around the stem.  But would they last more than a day?  And is there anything worse than an overripe watermelon?  Nay, I say, with melons at least, touch cannot be trusted. In fact, au contraire, I have found that a perfectly ripe watermelon may be rock hard all around while sweet and very red on the inside. 

Clearly, when it comes to the sense of smell, this is of even less help in selecting a watermelon, with all that succulent flesh locked up in a sealed hard-shell exterior.  You can close your eyes and hold an intact watermelon up to your nose, but you might has well be holding up a waxed turnip!  That luscious intoxicating smell of a summer watermelon is reserved until the knife falls.  As with some sacred events, it is only in brokenness that the sweet aroma rises.

But all of this leaves us in a quandary.  If it’s not a matter of sight, touch, taste or smell, how does one choose the perfect watermelon?  Clearly, there is only one of our senses left: it comes down to the venerable ear.  Can it be that the perfect watermelon is only chosen by its sound?

I like to treat watermelons like bongo drums and beat on them for a while.  It helps if you have some latin sounds bouncing in your head — and the grocery store is not crowded.  You beat on a dozen of our plump friends for resonance.  Many a watermelon will give you nothing but a flat thud as you hit on it. This is not what you are looking for.  You can be sure it’s taste will match the sound.  Rather, what you are listening for is a rich ‘bonk’ sound.  And therein lies the somber truth: the deeper and richer the sound, the sweeter and redder the melon.

It’s like buying a bongo drum.  According to Bestcovery of the LA Times, “Great skins on cheap drums may sound like a contradiction in terms, but consider this for a moment: the overall sound quality depends more on the skin and the player than the drum’s body or even its hardware system.”  So they recommend beating on one for awhile: “Thick drumheads result in a dull and flat sound that is not usually appealing to the ears. Hence, it is best to look for drumheads with thinner skin…. which are even all over the place and do not have any bumps.  Then… grab a mirror to check out the look of pleasant surprise that’ll appear on your face once you start playing!”

Ah, the look of pleasant surprise!  That’s exactly what happens when you hit upon the right watermelon.  You want to claim that melon and call in the castanets! Or at least put it in your cart.  I say it’s all about sound.  If it “just doesn’t sound right,” chances are your melon it’s under-ripe, pale pink, pulpy, picked too soon.  Like a lot of things, how it sounds makes all the difference.

Of course, it’s not just with watermelons that sound matters.  Our world if full of delectables that “just don’t sound right” when you beat on them. Take modern monetary theory, that quick-fix solution which says that debt is not something which has to be paid back, but is more like just rearranging the furniture. To most of us, “that just don’t sound right!” Yet the modern world is littered with such alluring blobs of opinion.  They may look like just perfectly balanced globular spheres on the counter.  It is only by beating on them for awhile that you discover their true character.  Do they resonate? Do they deliver that rich sound which speaks of integrity? Ripeness? Character?

Fortunately, the Holy Spirit, who takes up residence in the Christian believer, is our master resonator.  As we drum over some very attractive options in life and listen for resonance, here’s how the Spirit helps:

“As for you, the anointing you received from him remains in you, and you do not need anyone to teach you. But as his anointing teaches you about all things and as that anointing is real, not counterfeit—just as it has taught you, remain in him (IJn2:27).

Adam Clark notes the context of deception and seduction around this passage.

“It is plain, from the whole tenor of the epistle, that St. John is guarding the Christians against seducers and deceivers, who were even then disturbing and striving to corrupt the Church. In consequence of this he desires them to test the spirits whether they were of God….  But how were they to test them? Principally by that anointing – that spiritual light and discernment which they had received from God.” 

Holy Spirit, Master Resonator! As a fine old hymn puts it:

Holy Spirit, faithful Guide,
Ever near the Christian’s side;
Gently lead us by the hand,
Pilgrims in a desert land;
Weary souls fore’er rejoice,
While they hear that sweetest voice
Whisp’ring softly, “Wand’rer, come!
Follow Me, I’ll guide thee home.”